Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Chris Brown...cries all the way home

Performer Chris Brown was scheduled to be interviewed by Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. The idea was for Brown to perform, answer a few questions and then close with another song. But who knew Robin Roberts was such a heavy hitter? For, when it came time for what Brown hoped would be softball questions about the upcoming album the tricky Roberts did a 180 and asked about the singer's prior assault, or should I say, battery of Rihanna. The overrated singer stormed to his dressing room, smashed a window and left the studio. But not before tearing off his shirt. Note to all tough guys; when you want to let the world know you're pissed off make sure you remove your cotton t-shirt otherwise the message won't be clear. It also helps if you have ink because then you are saying, "look out world, I'm pissed and I have tattoos...and everything!" or "Me and my tattoos are so pissed I've left my tight t-shirt behind...and everything!"

This next part is my favorite. Chris 'the sissy' Brown issued a statement after the episode. What, did thoust think he'd hang his head in shame after the grown-up- boy-tantrum? Uh-uh shame belongs to generations past. Brown pleads, and I paraphrase, "I wish everyone would get off what happened. That was two years ago." (When he beat the shit out of his then girlfriend, Rihanna) and he goes on, "You can't let this go but everybody praises Charlie Sheen..." Wow, did you see that deflection ladies and gentlemen? That amazing slight of hand? "Don't look at me look at Charlie! Whaaaaaaaaaaa!"

What a tiny, little, diminutive man and I ain't referring to his height. Has society come to this? Say it ain't so that a diminutive man can't 'tune up' his ol' lady without everybody remembering? And then on top of this all praise goes to the more famous celebrity, Charlie"Blowhard" Sheen. (Also overrated). Damn you society, damn you to hell! Brown, the little weasel, still has a record deal; has a new album out with all kinds of promo and he was even part of the ensemble cast of the movie, Takers. How many other people who don't even beat their girlfriends get opportunities like this? Precious few Chris Brown, precious few. Yet you whine like a, like a, well...a celebrity. One of the many things that stick in my craw about this whole event is that when the beating took place many in the black community, including women, came to the little pip squeak's defense. I almost had a tantrum of my own and threw my laptop out my window. And don't feed me that 'tough upbringing jive' either. That was then. It's behind him. If he needs therapy or anger management he can afford it. Book stores are loaded with self help books etc. and support groups are all over the place. The point is, he has resources and more options than most.

But seriously, the guy loses it on Good Morning America? That firing squad television show of journalistic interrogation? How pathetic. Its not like he was blindsided by 60 minutes or ambushed by Michael Moore and his film crew. Hell, he wasn't even punk'd by that actor who thinks himself cute, Ashton "I think I'm cute" Kutcher. Chris Brown you are a child and my patience for you and other spoiled upstarts like you is wearing perilously thin. Get help, stop writing crappy music and if you see me coming, hide. Or I'll give you something to really cry about!

1 comment:

Garvey's Grapes said...

Amen Bro Montana. Amen. Jumping around in skinny jeans and throwing temper tantrums is the stuff of Nancy boys. There's no MAN in that facade of chicken chested, tattooed wanna be gangster appearance of yours. You raise your hand to a woman and in turn become forever encased in non-manly man pink carbonite the likes of which my main man Lando Calrissian would sooner have flown half way across a galaxy to save you from. There you are, in all of your pink pepto colored glory, asking the world to look past your asinine boy bruit behavior. Han Solo wouldn't have dreamed of hitting a woman, something Lando knew all along which is why he was willing to stick out his neck and risk his life and save him from the clutches of Jabba. As for you, I'd imagine Lando would grab a 40 of his "works every time" Colt 45 and bash you over the head with it. At least he would have the man balls to hit YOU, rather than taking a chair and throwing it at an innocent Times Square window. A guy like JB, aka Johnny 5, aka Category 5 knows what a man is, and you can be sure little boy Chrissy, that his Lando to my Han Solo, we'll fly a Millenium Falcon so far up your mangina, you might actually hit that high C that Michael Jackson owns, and you auto tune. Go buy a pair of pants that fit, and then dance your way off of the side of a bridge. No umbrella-ella-ella- eh-eh-eh for you you smacked ass. You bring what you got, cuz this white guy's still got some hood in him, and you're going the right way for an all world east coast beat down of epic proportion. And I hate your eyebrows. Sissy. Get at me.