Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Hollywood, Enough with the comic book flicks already!

Hollywood can we please move on from the comic book movies? In April of 2012, I mistakenly bought into the hype that the Avengers was going to be awesome. It didn't take long before I asked myself, 'why and I here? This is pure crap.' Other than a few decent lines delivered by the great Robert Downey Jr. the only entertainment was hearing my wife sigh and roll her pretty little eyes. (And yes I could hear the eyes roll, we're connected like that).

Later I asked myself why I went to the movie. Was it the hype? Was it the star studded cast? And then it hit me like a left hook to the chin. I'm an action guy and guys like me love action. I've been an action guy since my old man used to take me to Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson flicks. Looking back it may have been inappropriate for a 6 year old to watch Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry blowing bad guys away with his 44 magnum but I thought it was awesome...still do. But it is action that Cats like me seek. Sadly cop movies and good Westerns are in limited supply these days. Hence, there you have a cool Cat with his hot wife eating popcorn and watching 'men in tights' essentially. It's not fair. This is injustice. I don't want shiny costumes on near invisible dudes that can fly. I/we want tough cops kicking in doors, sliding over car hoods and NOT calling for back-up. Are you telling me that these movies are gone? That they have been done to death? Nay, I say, nay! Give guys like me a half decent story, fast cars and the whoever-actor and let's go. But no, Hollywood of no imagination is all about the bottom line $$$ and somehow you grown-up comic book geeks who would give your left...whatever...to go to Comicon have rallied and cried loud and long enough to bend Hollywood's ear. Studios have sent out armies of scouts to scour the libraries of DC and Marvel to bring them characters and (dare I say it) stories?

For a moment there was light at the end of my action movie tunnel for many of these comic book films were flops. For example The Green Lantern, Cowboys and Aliens and Captain America. And G.I. Joe starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson was shot, advertised and then shelved 3 weeks prior to it's 2012 summer release as the studio didn't think it could compete with other summer flicks. (It was later released and I admit--to some box office success). But then along came the box office juggernaut that was The Avengers and set the comic book movie party into a frenzy. Now we have Man Of Steel, up, up and a-friggin'-way, Oh joy! Plus Ironman 3 and...wait for it, another Avengers movie on the way releasing 2015.

This is an official call to arms to all action guys and action gals. We need to take back the cop and robber streets. Corral the horses and put cowboys on them. (I know, I know Disney is doing The Lone Ranger...for the love of Christmas that ain't what we're after either). We need to storm the Hollywood Bastille. We need to strategize in full stategistical strategery. We need to grab Hollywood by the ears and 'bad cop it' until our films return to the silver screen. To all of you so-called grown men that continue to pick up the comic book, attend Comicon and play video games either turn in your man cards or pull up your big boy pants and act like men! Demand that Hollywood bring back martial art, cop and Western movies. If you don't do this all that you know...will be at an end.

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