Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Fashion Sense? Wave your freak tag...

O.K. so we've all heard me rail against some youths and their proclivity for wearing their pants far too low- what they refer to as sagging. Let's be serious they look as though they've had an accident in their jeans for heaven's sakes. But my next issue is one that I shant rail against however, one does have questions.

I looked out my window this morning to see this Cat (dude) wearing a brand new pair of what we once referred to as sneakers. (Later on we called them running shoes and then after that I was out of the game. I mean I still wear em' but I don't know what the kids call them.) At any rate I knew the 'sneakers' to be new because Junior still donned the tag which was attached near the tongue. This could be seen as an over sight on his part but I say nay, for I've seen a couple of Cats do this now.

Which brings me to my question: Why? Why do they leave the tag on? If a women leaves a tag on her Vera Wang dress its because she either wants us to see what she's wearing (and can afford) or she's 'borrowing' it from the store and plans on returning it. But what of Junior? Is this meant to be a status symbol? And if so shouldn't the fact that we can all recognize the three stripes as addidas be sufficiently indicative as to the level of his status? In other words; brand new addidas--we get it Junior.

I certainly hope he doesn't think that he can pull the Vera Wang style 'borrowing' act and return the shoes at the end of his romp to 7-11. Maybe he just wants to convey how 'fresh' he is. (Apologies for the 'fresh' word which dates back to 1985). But I'm at a loss here, I just can't grasp this one. To me it says 'hey everybody can you guess where I was fifteen minutes ago? That's right losers I just rolled outta JC Penny y'all." Junior, there's got to be more. Is it merely a reminder that the shoe with the tag goes on the right foot? O.K. that was a cheap shot, even for me, I take it back with utmost sincerity...and a slight giggle.

But it isn't just sneakers, I've seen Cats do this with baseball hats, which I believe are affectionately known as 'lids'. A ha! I have it. The other day I walked into a deli and an employee said, 'Nice kicks' to me referring to my shoes. I get it now. These youths today keep the tags so that they can work them into rap songs. Check it out:

I got my kicks and my lid and they got tags
I got my levi's doin' the sweet, sweet sag
Now all I gots to do is avoid da body bag

No? Anybody? Hello? Well that's it that's all I've got. I can't for the life of me comprehend why Junior and his ilk keep the tags on their merchandise. And the bigger question is when does one cut the tag? When does Junior release the tag as he would a white dove back into the wild to soar for ever more? As soon as one notices a scuff mark? When one has knocked back 14 big gulps within a 15 day period? Or does Junior wait until the gal of his dreams, say Bertha perhaps, agrees to go on a date with him? And if so do he and Bertha cut the tag together like a mayoral ribbon cutting?

Well, until the day comes that Junior reveals the mystery behind the tag conundrum the rest of us in society shall have to soldier on. We cannot lose sleep over this bizarre fashion craze. We cannot form focus groups and think tanks that will only result in feeble attempts at finding reason to this quirky phenomenon. We've got to move forward in a sane and peaceful way. So, check your tire pressure, hold the door for a stranger and keep cold beer in your fridge and together we'll get through this. Until next we meet; peace, love and remain tag-less at all costs.

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