Good Morning Sorrento!

Corso Italia

My wife and I were 2/3 of the way through our Italian adventure and discovered without a doubt we
needed to do laundry. The day prior we found a laundromat, sussed it out and formed a plan. Our fast broken we hefted our two load laundry bag and hit the ground walking down Sorrento's Corso Italia. If not for our pathetic plastic bag from some unknown clothing store we'd have looked like locals. Alas, we looked like tourists that stay in a half decent hotel and are too cheap to use the hotel's laundry service.

Before leaving the hotel I attempted to break my 100 euro piece of paper at the front desk. The concierge broke it in half saying that was the best he could do being that it was so early in the morning. Fine, I thought, who can't break a 50…right?

When my wife and I arrived at the laundromat's front door we were near ecstatic to find we'd have the place to ourselves--no waiting. A second later we found the door was locked. Suddenly the laundry bag felt twenty pounds heavier. We did the dummy-toruist's stare for about thirty seconds before I found a button to the right of the door.

"What does this do?" I asked without waiting for my wife to answer and pushed. Voila! the door unlocked. After putting our heads together we decided that my wife would hang with the clothes and read while I hiked the streets in search of change. (Good times ahead as not even half of the businesses were open). I found a cafe and ordered an espresso and said a polite buon giorno to my espresso mates on either side of me. My plan was brilliant…until it came time to pay. I sheepishly slide my 50 euro piece across the bar. Not only did the Coffee-Keep refrain from touching the bill he practically recoiled as if it were a lethal snake.

"Non!," he said. "Espresso is only one euro!"

"Ok," I said and pretended to search my pockets for change (which I knew did not exist). After ten seconds I worked a distressed expression on my face.

"Mi dispiace (I'm sorry) solo (only) 50 euro," I said. (Yes, my Italian kicks ass).

"Ok, come back later when you have change," he said and dismissed me. He then spoke to my espresso mates in rapid Italian and they nodded in agreement. Geez, I wonder who they were talking about? I made my exit with all of the pride I could muster. Back on the street I found a souvenir shop. The store owner nearly talked me into a 30 euro kangol style hat. But I thought it too expensive a way to gain the 8 euros I needed to wash our clothes. The proprietor seemed genuinely sad to see me leave.

I was on a mission and so far had produced diddley. I needed a plan B. On the opposite side of the street an Irish bar's bright 'open' sign jumped out at me. I sighed heavily as it was only 10 am but I was running out of time.

The manager greeted me with a big smile. I considered my espresso trick but remembered my recent experience. Ah ha! I had it.

10 am baby!

"Could I have an espresso con (with) Sambuca per favore? (please). His english was excellent which is why I used limited Italian..that and my Italian was limited.

"Oh, you want to get drunk,ok!" he boomed in his Anthony Quinn like voice luckily nobody heard it but me as I was the sole patron. I should also point out that most of the chairs were still up on the tables. All I could do was smile and say 'heh heh' because I couldn't reveal my evil plot to rid him of 8 euros of laundry change. He flashed a big smile before turning around to fix my drink(s). The espresso smelled magnificent and the sambuca was 3 ounces. I repeat, the Barkeep fed me 3 massive ounces of the licorice liquor…at 10 am.

"Here you go my friend, now you can get drunk," he boomed, again.

"Grazie," I thanked him.

As he opened up the place he wanted to chat. Who was I to disappoint, the kind gentleman graciously over-served me after all. It was too early to work through the thick syrupy drink quickly plus I didn't want to appear rude. We talked about his business and my vacation for the next little while until the moment of truth arrived. I paid my bill.

"Oh buddy I don't know about this I've just opened."

No way could I take another hit of the sambuca, but if need be I was prepared to force a beer down. I seriously hoped it wouldn't come to that. The longer I stayed in the bar the longer my wife sat with our (still) dirty clothes and who wants to explain to one's wife that the reason they're running late is that they stopped by a bar for change...at 10 am.

Luckily for me the friendly Barkeep made change. I tipped handsomely then high-tailed it to the laundromat.

"Hi honey I'm wired from espresso and  buzzed from sambuca, but…I'm home. Would you mind starting the laundry? I've got an errand to run."

"Where are you going?"

"To pay my debt. It's 10:14 am and I owe money in this town."

"Wow, it's not even noon yet."

I wasn't sure if my wife was referring to the fact that I owed money in town so early or that I was already buzzed before noon--perhaps it was both. Either way I returned to espresso number 1 and paid for my espresso. My former mates were still there. Everybody smiled once I laid down the appropriate euros plus tip. Somehow I think someone among them lost a bet. Regardless, the debt was paid and this tourist could still show his face in beautiful Sorrento.

As you read this you may be thinking that I'm a rummy or a wino but I disagree. I'm merely a guy that when given a task gets the job done. Even if it means tackling the job one painful yet delicious ounce at a time!