Friday, May 30, 2008

Celebrity Snooz

A lot going on in celebri-world: Let's look at Brad and ANGELINA JOLIE. Yummy mommy Ang just had twins in France. This now gives what some call the hot couple six kids. The twins now join (Mad Dog) Maddox, (Tea in the) Zahara, (you don't know shit from) Shiloh, and Pax (Americana). Seriusly folks is this really what Brad wanted those few short years ago when he gave Angelina the business on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Maybe it's just me but Brad just seems to follow her around like a lap-Brad. Oh well he's in it now y'all.
He man songstress Clay 'curious' Aiken 29,is going to be a daddy. That's right Clay got down with a 50 year old. Well actually he got down with a test tube (Shocker)and the Doc did the rest. Jaymes Foster, a dame, was Clay's executive producer on some album he recently did. I suppose she was feeling barren, or close to it and asked that Clay step up and donate some swimmers. Jaymes is the sister of music producer/mogul David Foster; hence the 'executive' in her producer title and possibly hence; why Clay was persuaded to part with aforementioned diva seed. $$$.
Some time ago I blogged about how MICHAEL JACKSON stood on the precipice of losing his Neverland ranch. Well as luck would have it as it often does with those with cash-even while being in bankruptcy- the 11th hour did that 11th hour thing it sometimes does. The self proclaimed king of pop cut a confidential deal with the Fortress Investment Group LLC. In short M.J. gets to keep his ranch. The ranch is apparently located in wine country near the area the Sideways movie was filmed. Local residents rumored that at one point soccer dude Beckham was interested in purchasing the ranch. My question is, how much friggin' dough does the friggin' British footballer have? The ranch was estimated to be worth around $24.5 million.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Scotty Mac and Decider Boy

Memorial day just passed and as per usual Americans shopped, went on vacation, barbecued and paid tribute to the fallen. The Decider in Chief did what a president should do and attended a ceremony in Arlington. He said the presidential usual,"I stand before you as commander...very proud etc." He then goes on and says this about the proud soldiers that have fallen. "They're an awesome bunch of people and the U.S. is blessed to have such citizens." Memeorial day comes but once a year and this is a huge memorial day as he is on his way out and he has led many a military lamb to this slaughter and the best he can muster is that 'they're awesome'. The man is pathetic; a lame duck president to the power of ten. The pretend cowboy then goes on to say, "...they found peace beneath the white headstones in the land they fought to defend...solemn reminder of the cost of freedom that the number of headstones in such a place as this grows with every memorial day."
Peace beneath the headstones? Had I lost a child in this debacle I'd be snapping. They had REAL peace before Bush cooked up this bullshit Iraq war. Cost of freedom? Freedom from who, the marauding Iraqis in a neighborhood near me? The gall and arrogance is astounding.
Former press secretary Scott McClellan's new tell all book apparently tears his former administration a new one.
"What I do know is that war should be waged when necessary and the Iraq war was not necessary." This quote is apparently from the book's preface. How do we feel about this upcoming tell-all? Is he trying to put forth a Bart Simpson-esque 'I didn't do it' as former guy who told us all to believe in the admin's words? Is he trying to gain immunity from the public in the event he needs to appear before a jury of his peers? Or is he just yet another rat leaving the drowning good-fascist-ship lollipop? Do we say attaboy Scotty or do we say it's too little too late Bubba go atone somewhere else. In fairness it does take some balls to write about your sins especially when there is risk of retribution. Furthermore, any light these whistle blowers...oops I should say accomplices instead of whistle blowers for there is a difference on the morality food chain-but any light/evidence these cats want to shed on what we basically already know is fine by me. The administration has quickly retorted by labeling Scotty Mac as 'disgruntled'. No doubt the label was written by an awesome bunch of speech writing press dudes.
Bush's response was that he's got better things to do than worry about some disgruntled former employee. A good line if it weren't for the fact that we all know that the only thing on is his mind is which skippy cowboy hat he should wear first in 200 plus days when he steps down. And on that day I'm sure he'll look up from his Shetland pony to his dad who sits a real horse and say, "See daddy I told you I could do two terms, now watch me jump this pony over that tiny Texas tulip."

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Bye Bye Stooperdelegates

As a kid I loved the Bugs Bunny cartoon, in fact I still do. Daffy Duck had a character, a super hero all caped up called Stooperduck. He was a not too bright character that was sort of a blend of Maxwell Smart and Inspector Cluseau. He bumbled and fumbled, flew into walls, got his beak all shot to hell and so on. He is why I have renamed the super delegates in the current democratic primary, stooperdelegates or stooper D's. They are not so big named people who enjoy their somewhat power position a little too much. "Ha while the country observes the primary game I'll hold onto my trump card so that one and all will covet me and mine." Combine this if you will with a little, "Well I'm not gonna vote first, you vote first. Hey let's get Mikey, he'll vote first..." Seriously how can they not know by now who to throw in with, are they stupid?
Or is it genuine fear? "I'm scared of backing the wrong horse. What if it comes in second, breaks it's ankles and they have to put it down?" Well if it is in fact fear ladies and gents of the stooperdelegacy then turn in your stooper-card STAT!
In fact let's drop all of this superfluous 'super' trumped up prefix altogether. There are to be no more supermodels there are just regular models and the over paid model. Even MickeyD's dropped the 'supersize' after Mogan Sperlock's movie Supersize Me. From now on there can only be super chargers in classic American muscle cars and superheros in comic books and that's it Bubba! And until that blissful day when the electoral/primary system is dismantled and then rebuilt-to make sense ie. 1 person; 1 vote on 1 day-delegates will be delegates: those we know and those we do not.
Please, please please people we've just endured 8 years under the Dum Dum in Chief's regime and his weak attempt at world domination alongside the Coalition of the Unfullfilling. We must strive to be clever and in that cleverdom is nary a thread of assininity. In other words clever is never having to say your STOOOOOOPID!

Friday, May 9, 2008

RUSH is a Rush

The Rush concert began with a funny yet bizarre skit on the jumbotron. Who knew that Geddy and company were actors as well as one of the greatest bands on earth. The power trio opened up with Limelight, a classic from the Moving Pictures album..that's right I said album and always will bothers and sisters. Geddy (bass player, lead vocalist, keyboard player) struggled on a couple of notes but then smoothed it out for the rest of the show. As I pointed out to the fellow and feline Rush fans we were with, Geddy wrote his parts near the top of his range when he was in his twenties and they are still playing the songs in the original keys. For the record neither Robert Plant, Mick Jagger or Steve Perry of Journey can still hit the notes of yesteryear-they all drop the keys to their classics. The young trio played for three and a half hours with a tiny beer break intermission in the middle. It was totally phenomenal; there was pot in the air, I was high fivin' strangers, beers were only 7 bucks!!! and the music surged like a Canadian prog rock tornado. Add to this the couple we went with even got into a minor squabble as to which one of them was the huger Rush fan. Now that is a friggin' concert!
I remember coming up back in the day listening to Rush and going to their concerts. In a word;Awesome. I use to get so pissed year after year when Canadian bands like Brian 'asshole' Adams and Celine 'dummy' Dion would win all of these Juno awards (U.S. equivalent being a grammy) even though whatever current Rush album was out would outsell the award winner twofold! Rush, they say is an acquired taste and I was and am still happy to defend them against naysayers. Just look at them today. They've stood the test of time since their birth in 1969. If you don't believe me check out their concert in Rio from a few years back. You'd swear you were watching a Beatles concert. Brazilians are screaming and crying and passing out left and right. Rush is world wide people so don't fight it, join em'. Rush rips, Rush rocks, RUSH is still a total RUSH!!
Concert Hall!!!!

Friday, May 2, 2008

America's Fast Food Horn O' Plenty

The other day I heard Bush tell the world that not only do we have nothing to worry about as far as the U.S. economy is concerned but he claimed that the almighty U.S. dollar is not weak. And I swear he believed his words; that's how far the man is gone. So we all know he's wrong on that but I'm not here to rag on Mr. Mission Accomplished tonight.
A recent study just came out about how and where the economy is hemorrhaging.In a word; everywhere but lets look at restaurants. Americans are tightening their belts. Actually no they are loosening their belts but tightening up on their spending at most restaurants but not at( drum roll please) fast food joints. Diddley squat has been gleaned from movies like Supersize Me or stats on rising obesity. Cats who normally eat at your Soup Plantations, Sizzlers and TGI Fridays are taking it down a notch and going to McDonald's, Burger King and the other fat building bottom of the barrel-ers. Their profits are up, and significantly so over the aforementioned upper tier. Fast food regulars may be pulling back a day or two during the week at best but the second tier-ers have stepped into the deep fry basement. What this means is as with other recessions Americans will pinch their pennies visa vi; clothing, jewelry, houses, cars and the like but dammit America is going to eat! Obesity be damned. So whereas the media claimed that Katrina victims took their FEMA issued ATM cards to buy high end sneakers and IPODS just watch how many common folk take their Bush granted stimulus package checks to MickeyD's ASAP. Go ahead America get your eat-on while we still have a place at the table...tick tick y'all the clock is ticking.