Tuesday, June 24, 2008


OH boy it seems that there was a bit of a dust up in the high priced celebrity refuge of Malibu Beach Ca. The paparazzi moved into the area in the hopes of capturing a surfing Matt Maconaghey through the business end of their high end telephotos. All was going just fine for the photography roaches until...(cue scary music) a gang of over privileged white platinum spoon fed locals rained on the parade. Look out Bloods and Crips there is new gang in town..well not your town but a town not near you.
But first a little background on the white kids turf. Many celebs dig Malibu for it's beaches, fine homes and to a massive degree the community locks out the shutter bugs. 'We don't want em' here' is the paraphrased message broadcast by this city.

(Please note ,blacks, latinos, white trash or anybody else with an embarrassingly low income need not apply either but that's another blog for someone else.)

But take Pierce Brosnon he and his wife dig Malibu because it is not Rodeo Drive or the Ivy, but apparently he's being investigated for allegedly striking a paparazzo. Let me go out on a limb and say that in this case 'allegedly' means, he did it and good on ya Pierce. Locals say that Pierce is a cool guy until he gets pissed off and then the Irishman comes out. Obviously the camera vultures know this and provoke him for that million dollar shot.
Back to big Mac:
Maconaghey rents a home in Point Dume. He heads out on his surf board. The shutter bugs scramble over the rocks like an advanced case of genital crabs for the money shot. As their expensive gear clicks away a group of local surfers approach and encroach and tell the ZZi's to move it along. No doubt the Photogs invoked what most A-holes do between the borders of Canada and Mexico; "It's a free country." Little did they know that Malibu ain't free at all baby. A fracas breaks out, as it was written in the L.A. Times-nothing like a friggin' fracas I always say-punches and kicks were thrown, high price gear tumbled into the sea or was stolen, curse words; the whole gamut.
Now what is interesting is the next day the papazzoids came back for more and the local ruffians stood their ground once again. I mean hey, when you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way! Another scrap ensued and the usual lawsuits, threats, rights and freedoms speeches blah blah boo hoo.
I'm not sanctimonious Sam over here coming down on the Paparazzi it is just that if you don't understand the concept of occupational hazard then you truly are a prick. Sure you have rights, but if somebody gets pissed about the job you are doing we as a society may not enforce your right to annoy. Sorry bub. Sometimes the meter maid gets told to F-off, the dog catcher gets bitten, and the bathroom attendant gets ignored (its creepy after all.) Listen up Papara-dummies you've chosen this profession for the four figures it pays when you catch Paris Hilton crying on her way to jail. But occasionally you get a face slap and a Nikon tossed into the drink; deal with it or take a walk sunshine because me and Malibu's Caucasian connection ain't about to bust out crying!

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