Thursday, October 2, 2008

Celebrity Snewz

The Basic In-stink Broad

Are you sitting down? Good, because today's first Celebri-dummy is the always loopy Sharon Stone. Stone, now 50 is still an overrated actress and still quite nuts. She's been trying to gain full custody of her 8 year old son Roan. The judge told her, Wednesday, uh-uh baby, no can do. One of the reasons is that she often overreacts from a medical standpoint re: Roan. Stone, overly concerned with her sons stinky feet wanted to inject the lads feet with botox. For those concerned beyond the obvious, many leading ladies will shoot botox into their armpits prior to award shows so as not to sweat and ruin the borrowed gown. So, in fairness one can see where Stone was going with the botox idea. No? Another time Roan had some ailment and she wanted him to have a spinal tap. Yo, Sharon baby, next time you have that urge, how about you just listen to the band, Spinal Tap.

Keep it Clean

Let's all say goodbye to Mr.Clean. Remember the guy on the cleaning product from back in the day? Well maybe you're not old enough. I remember being a kick ass shit kicker in the early 70's and watching the Mr.Clean ad on the tube. It had a catchy yet obnoxious tune. The man himself was based on actor House Peters jr. He died today at 92. Other than being the buff dude-a la Charles Atlas-ish, cat in the tight white T, sporting one earring in the left ear he was a working actor. He rarely, if ever, was a leading man but he appeared in movies like Lassie, Flash Gordon and a handful of westerns. Although I'm more of a Pinesol kind of cat, Mr.Clean affords a hip trip down memory lane. So long pal.

Doh! J Simpson

O.J., O.J., O.J. Man I can't stand that dude! Anyway, he's back in the news again as the defense and the prosecution have both rested in his current trial. Have you heard this one? Last year O.J. and a couple of pathetic thieves stormed a Vegas Hotel room in the hopes of jacking some memorabilia clowns. Apparently these cats had a bunch of O.J.'s goods and he wanted them back. The guy needs money after all. The caper vaults into the genius category because one of Simpson's posse members was packing heat. That bumps it up armed robbery. They held these dudes awhile during negotiations, and that throws in a kidnapping beef. If found guilty he could get 5 years. I doubt the charges will stick. Why? Because the witnesses are not that credible. (I know shocking in a numbskull caper). One witness, whose name escapes me, has been caught on audio tape calling the prosecutor and offering to alter his testimony for the right price. This tape was played for the jury. In the words of Homer Simpson (no relation) "DOH!"

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